Self-compassion beats self-confidence
On the surface, confidence sounds more alluring, doesn’t it? It suggests a sense of control. But research suggests there’s a better way to approach personal growth and development. Self-compassion.
“Fake it ‘til you make it” can only take you so far. In the short term, it can help you feel better about yourself, but in the long term it can lead you to overestimate your abilities and result in a greater sense of failure or disappointment when it turns out you don’t measure up.
Simply put, self-compassion is defined as treating yourself with the same level of kindness, care, and concern you would show a loved one. It’s not wishy-washy stuff. The findings of a recent study showed that war veterans who practice more "self-compassionate self-talk" experience less severe PTSD symptoms.
Practicing self-compassion offers a delicious buffet of other perks. You’ll come to accept that you’re human and humans make mistakes. On the other hand, you’ll be more committed to not repeating your mistakes. Others will come to see you as empathetic. You’ll also attract people around you to let their guard down.
It’s true that pulling your shoulders back and making eye contact elevates your confidence. But that’s the easy stuff. Learning to love and be kind to yourself is a lot harder. Notice that voice in your head. Make friends with it. An inner cheerleader is much nicer to live with than an inner critic.